Wedding Advice (Groom’s Edition)

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Hello! Hope you guys are doing well. Today, I want to write to brides with nervous husbands-to-be. Weddings are quite stressful for them as well. Mostly because of a new-age philosophy that grooms need to be involved in the process too so they feel special seeing a part of their vision in the wedding. Women grow up imagining their grooms and their wedding day whereas men dream about superheroes. So yes, somewhere between imagining superheroes and proposing to you, they forget what really entails in the wedding planning process. However, that doesn’t give the grooms the passport to roll out of bed, shower, and put a sherwani on. A groom must look perfect for his bride as well. It’s quite exciting when the groom shares in the excitement of wedding preparations for the wedding and is a support system for his bride. So guys, if you are reading this, listen to me and support your future wife through this process.

We have broken down some tips for grooms so they know what to expect. So here goes:

1. Budget:

I seriously encourage the engaged couple to talk about the wedding before they even get engaged. It’s important to decide what your wedding vision is before involving family. Discussing details like what events to have and who will be responsible financially for some or all the bills is critical in making sure there are no conflicts when the actual process begins. Once you are engaged and if your parents are contributing, it is important to incorporate their opinions as well. It’s nice to discuss your expectations and listen to their advice. If you are paying for your wedding, then you as a couple decide how to budget. Nowadays due to all the expenses, it’s not unusual for couples to chip in even if both sets of parents are paying for the wedding events.

I would recommend the bride side be responsible for the Mayoun and Nikkah/Baraat. The groom side can be responsible for the Valima. And pre-wedding festivities like the Mehndi, Sangeet/Qawali Night, Dholki’s, etc can be a joint venture. Bottom line is to let the budget allow how many events you are going to have. You can even have some formal events and some informal events or cut down your guest list to deflate your budget. There is a trend that I hope sticks, which is combining Mehndi and Shaadi/Baraat and calling it a Shendi. That’s a great idea if you have a limited budget.

2. Wedding Outfits:

There are a plethora of designers and brands for bridal outfits, however, there is a new, emerging market of designer groom’s wear as well. As grooms become more aware of how they want to look, they like options that match their visions and boy, in Pakistan, they won’t be disappointed. Even though most designers for men are men, there are talented female designers like Sania Maskatiya who design sherwanis. Another designer to look into is Ali Kazmi (See HERE).

Some brides like to color-coordinate or complement their wedding outfits with their groom’s sherwanis. I say it’s not a must and it’s totally up to the couple. If the groom wants to carry his own unique look, then go for the colors and designs that suit him. Traditionally, Mehndi is when groom’s want to look festive and colorful. Weddings require a basic white or black sherwani or for flamboyant grooms, burgundy.  I strongly advise sticking to traditional groom colors to avoid looking like a clown in photographs. I prefer grooms get creative with embroidery and fabric.

3. Accessories:

It’s nice having little personal touches in a groom’s wedding attire to make the wedding more meaningful. Having a favorite tie clasp, cuff links and a handkerchief gives the groom a polished look. These days grooms also color-coordinate items such as his handkerchief or his tie with the bridal outfit. I have seen even colored socks. It gives the couple a coherent look. I suggest discussing your looks before either of you go wedding attire shopping. There should be some sort of coherence, but not monotony. I say for your Baraat day, go without a pagari. I know it is very traditional and royal, but it is far too dated for today’s wedding trends.

4. Salon Services:

It goes without saying that grooms should look polished and clean on all their wedding events. It is important to start a skin regiment months before the wedding day. Going to the salon and getting facials for your skin-type, getting a sports mani/pedi, or getting a haircut and styled are just part of the pre-wedding regiments grooms need to take on. N-Gents in Karachi is one salon, which is established just for men. Depending on your face, they can do beard contouring, hide acne scars and overall, prep you to look like a king on your wedding day. I highly recommend you make allowances in your budget for these services. Trust me-your photos will thank you.

5. Arranging the Valima:

It is important for the groom to give input on the feel and look of the Valima. Plan with your family since they usually are the hosts, and stay within the budget. Don’t worry the bride with the planning details of the Valima since it is strictly from the groom’s side. And honestly, the bride likes to be surprised to see what her in-laws and now-husband has planned. It would be a nice touch to have a cool car for the exit and entrance. If nothing else, room and car arrangements are something the groom can do and make it as extravagant and personal as possible. These two items should reflect the groom’s personality.

6. Honeymoon Planning:

From the wedding night to the honeymoon, the groom should hold reins. Just like the proposal, this custom is something to be shared by the bride and groom only. In terms of planning, you can ask for ideas from the bride. There is a world full of ideas as to what you can do together (See HERE). A suggestion would be to reflect on what you would like to be doing on your honeymoon. If you want an adventurous, tropical, and beachy vibe, then go for an island vacation. This way the two of you can enjoy water sports, meet exotic animals and have food to die for. If you like nature, then there are many options there as well. Here, you can focus on the luxurious part of the honeymoon. Maybe stay in a luxurious treehouse or a fancy cabin. Art, food, whatever you two imagine as fun should be the deciding factors. This will not be your first and last trip together, so don’t put too much pressure on it. Just have fun!

Well, guys, I hope this helps!